Social IQ
“Mirror neurons” create in us a replica of the feelings and intentions of the people we’re with and, in turn, make what we do an active ingredient in their brains. This class of brain cell may explain, for example, why flirting is so powerful. A study at the University of London found that when a woman whom a man finds attractive looks him straight in the eye, a specific circuit in his brain releases dopamine, delivering a dollop of pleasure. But this only works when their eyes lock. Simply looking at beautiful women, or eye contact with someone a man does not see as attractive, fails to stir this pleasure circuit.
The people whom we love the most are biological allies. Being with them boosts the secretion of brain chemicals like oxytocin, which calms distress and lowers levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that weakens the immune system.
When we feel rebuffed or left out, the brain activates a site for registering physical pain, neuroscientists at UCLA report.
Australian researchers found that workers recall a boss’s downbeat comments far more often, in greater detail and with more intensity than they do his encouraging words. When negative remarks become a preoccupation, that worker’s brain loses mental efficiency.
“Can You Raise Your Social IQ?” by Daniel Goleman