Daniel Gilbert has found that we overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions to future events. On average, bad events prove less intense and more transient than test participants predict. Good events prove less intense and briefer as well.
One experiment of Gilbert’s had students in a photography class at Harvard choose two favorite pictures from among those they had just taken and then relinquish one to the teacher. Some students were told their choices were permanent; others were told they could exchange their prints after several days. As it turned out, those who had time to change their minds were less pleased with their decisions than those whose choices were irrevocable. This experiment challenges our common assumption that we would be happier with the option to change our minds when in fact we’re happier with closure.
Another study asked whether transit riders in Boston who narrowly missed their trains experienced the self-blame that people tend to predict they’ll feel in this situation. They did not. This experiment demonstrates that we tend to err in estimating our regret over missed opportunities.
And a paper waiting to be published, ‘’The Peculiar Longevity of Things Not So Bad,‘’ shows our failure to imagine how grievously irritations compromise our satisfaction. Our emotional defenses snap into action when it comes to significant problems, such as a divorce or a disease, but not for lesser problems.
Tim Wilson: ‘’We don’t realize how quickly we will adapt to a pleasurable event and make it the backdrop of our lives. When any event occurs to us, we make it ordinary. And through becoming ordinary, we lose our pleasure.'’
Wilson and Gilbert and others have shown that we’re generally unable to recognize that we adapt to new circumstances and therefore fail to incorporate this fact into our decisions.
A large body of research on well-being seems to suggest that wealth above middle-class comfort makes little difference to our happiness. And having children does nothing to improve well-being — and it drives marital satisfaction dramatically down. We often yearn for a roomy, isolated home (a thing we easily adapt to), when, in fact, it will probably compromise our happiness by distancing us from neighbors. (Social interaction and friendships have been shown to give lasting pleasure.)
In a recent experiment, George Loewenstein tried to find out how likely people might be to dance alone to Rick James’s ‘’Super Freak'’ in front of a large audience. Many agreed to do so for a certain amount of money a week in advance, only to renege when the day came to take the stage. This gets at the fundamental difference between how we behave in ‘’hot'’ states (those of anxiety, courage, fear, drug craving, sexual excitation and the like) and ‘’cold'’ states of rational calm. We cannot seem to predict how we will behave in a hot state when we are in a cold state.
Data from tests in which volunteers are asked how they would behave in various ‘’heat of the moment'’ situations — whether they would have sex with a minor, for instance, or act forcefully with a partner who asks them to stop — have consistently shown that different states of arousal can alter answers by astonishing margins. ‘’These kinds of states have the ability to change us so profoundly that we’re more different from ourselves in different states than we are from another person,'’ Loewenstein says.
Loewenstein has done a great deal of work showing that nonpatients overestimate the displeasure of living with the loss of a limb, for instance, or paraplegia.
“The Futile Pursuit of Happiness” by Jon Gertner